


Lucid

by Deonara2012



Category: B.A.P, Block B, Boyfriend (Band), MYNAME (Band), Speed (Kpop)
Genre: Asexuality, Crossover Pairings, F/M, M/M, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deonara2012/pseuds/Deonara2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucid is a four piece group that clicked like some do in the Kpop industry. Which allows them to help each other through each problem they face.</p><p>Disclaimer: not mine, not true</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SungMin and EunHong

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Campnanowrimo. It was originally going to be a Leverage remix, but the characters who had the problem were more interesting than the people in the Leverage spot, so I tossed that idea.

Choi EunHong slipped into Lucid's practice room, pulling the door closed behind her, and arched her back to stretch it out. "I'm going to kill someone," she said, almost cheerfully. "Anyone want to join me?"

SungMin looked up in some surprise, his pencil skidding across the paper. "Who, and what for?" he asked.

YoungJae scooted over to let her sit between him and SungMin, and she plopped down, stretching her long legs out in front of her. "The wardrobe people," she said, still sounding calm. "I don't even want to tell you what...."

The door opened again, and they all turned. EunHong swallowed a few swear words when the wardrobe lady walked in, carrying the travesty of a costume she'd decided EunHong needed to wear this time around.

"What is that?" MinHyuk asked - gasped, actually. 

"Miss EunHong didn't want to even consider this, so I thought I'd run it past you three," the woman said, and held it up to let them get a good look at it. EunHong wished she could sink into the floor.

SungMin whistled. "That's... something," he said.

The woman smiled. "Wouldn't you like to see her in it?"

SungMin glanced at EunHong, a light in his eyes that almost made her want to put it on. "Yeah," he said. "But not if she doesn't want to wear it." 

EunHong could have kissed him, only they had to at least pretend no one knew they were interested in each other. 

"MinHyuk?"

MinHyuk leaned back and glanced between EunHong and the short short skirt and midriff baring top. He smiled, and she had to wonder who he'd imagined in that. They knew he had someone, but they hadn't met this mysterious someone. EunHong just knew he wasn't imagining her in that outfit. Thankfully. "I have to agree," he said. 

"YoungJae?" 

EunHong didn't think she imagined the desperation in the woman's voice.

YoungJae looked at it and shrugged. "I don't think it really fits her," he said. "I mean, she's got the legs for it, but it's not really her style."

Considering how often the woman complimented YoungJae on his taste in his regular clothes, that was probably the death knell for that particular outfit. The woman seemed to agree, and she sighed. "All right. We'll come up with something else."

"Thank you," EunHong said. She might not like the woman's choices sometimes, but she was someone they had to work with, and EunHong wanted to stay on her good side as much as possible.

She repeated her words to the rest of her group mates as soon as the woman closed the door behind her. "I thought I was going to be stuck with that, thank you for making her change her mind." She leaned over and kissed SungMin's cheek, then folded her feet under her to lean up on her knees to kiss MinHyuk and YoungJae on the cheek as well. "Thank you. I can't even tell you how much I didn't want to wear that." She glanced at SungMin and grinned. "On stage, anyway."

He laughed and hugged her. "Okay, back to business," he said after a too-short hug. "I'm stuck. I need fresh eyes. It's a rap, you're recruited."

She glanced at the other two, then settled down next to SungMin again, her attention on his paper and his words. She could hear YoungJae and MinHyuk talking about something, probably going over the lyrics for this or a different song. So used to the soft sounds, it didn't distract her from the work with SungMin.

She liked working with SungMin, even better than she liked working with Bang. She didn't plan on telling either of them, however, because she'd never hear the end of it. She could only take so much before she'd try to tear one or the other's throat out. As she intended to date SungMin for a good long time, and as she really did treasure Bang's friendship... she preferred not to have that possibility. Or problem. Or whatever.

"You guys mind if I don't join you for lunch?" YoungJae asked as they packed up their work a while later. They never left it behind, never let anyone see it until they knew they couldn't make it any better.

"Date?" SungMin teased.

YoungJae rolled his eyes. "No. Meeting JungMin for lunch."

"Date," EunHong and SungMin confirmed, and YoungJae shook his head.

"Go ahead. I know you two don't get much time," MinHyuk told him.

"You make it sound like we're dating," YoungJae complained.

"You don't want to be?" MinHyuk asked.

"I want to be friends," YoungJae said. "I'm okay with just that."

"You are the weirdest kid I've ever met," MinHyuk said.

"Considering his career, that's a lot of weird," EunHong pointed out.

YoungJae grinned at her. "And proud of it," he said, grabbed his bag, and left the room.

MinHyuk laughed. "Well...."

"You want to meet your mystery person," SungMin guessed.

"If you don't mind spending lunch alone together," MinHyuk said, hesitating by the door.

"Get out, and don't come back until you're smiling and can't stop," EunHong said.

MinHyuk snorted at her, but he smiled when he left.

"And just like that, my wish was granted," SungMin said. "Lunch?"

"Kiss first, then lunch," EunHong said, and bent down to kiss him.

 

SungMin liked the makeup of their group for a good reason: he could sit pressed next to EunHong at lunch, in front of everyone, and none of them would know why. They just had to have a paper and pencil, add things to it occasionally, and everyone thought they worked.

They'd perfected the art of pretending to get things done under stranger's eyes. YoungJae and MinHyuk, not so much, but then... they didn't have to pretend with them. About anything. 

"They're staring at us," EunHong said, before taking a bite of her lunch.

"Don't they always?" SungMin asked.

She swallowed. "Not the wardrobe people."

SungMin jerked his head up and found the people EunHong meant. Three women and two men sat with their heads together, watching the two of them and talking among themselves. "That can't be good," SungMin said.

"No, it probably isn't," EunHong said. "Strategic retreat?"

"Nah," SungMin said, and looked down at the paper. He frowned and changed something on it. "Ignore them. Do you think we'll meet MinHyuk's... whatever?"

"Eventually. What's your guess, girl or boy?"

SungMin looked at her and grinned. "I don't know," he said. "He's happy, that's all that's important."

"Do you want to meet his whatever?" EunHong asked.

"Yeah. Don't you?"

She shrugged. "Why?"

SungMin frowned again. "I hate not knowing," he said. "And I'd like to meet the whatever that makes him happy."

EunHong smiled at him and nudged his shoulder with hers, took the pencil out of his hand, and wrote something down on the paper. "I would, too." She glanced up, then back to the paper. "I want to know what's going on with YoungJae."

"He's having lunch with JungMin," SungMin said. "It's not more than that."

"Probably not, and he seems happy with it, so...."

"I'm done. Let's go before they drill holes into us with their eyes."

EunHong laughed and they gathered their things together. SungMin tucked the paper into his pocket, careful to make sure it wouldn't come out (couldn't get pulled out), and they left the cafeteria. Back in their practice room, EunHong dropped to the floor and sighed. "This is going to suck, isn't it."

SungMin laughed and sat down next to her, hugged her, and kissed her cheek. "No more than usual," he said. "And you'll have all of us to suffer with you."

"I'm not sure that's even funny," EunHong said, and leaned her head on his shoulder. SungMin patted her knee but didn't answer.

 

MinHyuk half expected to find them huddled together like that. He opened the door and smiled. "Looks like a stressful lunch," he said.

EunHong looked up, and her face lit up to see his smile. "You had a nice one," she said.

"I did. What happened?"

"The wardrobe people stared at us all through lunch," SungMin said. "After that outfit earlier, I think I don't want to know what they thought about."

"Decided," MinHyuk corrected him. "We're scheduled to go see them around four."

SungMin groaned and leaned back on his hands. "We're so in for it," he muttered.

"In for what?" YoungJae asked, slipping around MinHyuk to grab his water bottle.

"We have an appointment with wardrobe at four," MinHyuk repeated.

YoungJae froze, half straightened up. "That sounds really ominous," he said.

"My thoughts exactly," SungMin said. "I don't wanna go."

"If you don't go, you can't be heard," EunHong said.

SungMin groaned. YoungJae laughed and straightened. "Let me fill my water, and we can get back to work."

"Make it fast," MinHyuk said. YoungJae nodded and slipped out again.

EunHong got to her feet and stretched up, bending right and left. A sharp crack echoed through the room, and she sighed.

MinHyuk grinned and headed for the music player against the wall. "A little stressed, are you?" he teased.

"More than a little," she admitted. "It's just not fair that they can do that to us."

SungMin got to his feet, took her arm, and tugged on it. She spun away from him, and grinned.

MinHyuk half wished he could do something like that with Gunwoo, but he didn't really dance much, at least not anywhere MinHyuk could see him. He half wished Gunwoo was here, too - it was bitter-sweet to see the way these two acted around each other - and he'd like to have that opportunity to hang out like they did. He didn't know how well it'd go over, but still....

"You look like you wish you were somewhere else," YoungJae said from his elbow.

MinHyuk jerked into motion. "More like wishing someone else could be here."

YoungJae patted his arm and went back to his bag, dropping his full water bottle back on it. 

MinHyuk gave himself a shake. "Okay, back to work," he said, and hit play on the music player.

It took fifteen minutes to loosen up, but when they did, everything flowed the way he'd expected. They'd all learned to push everything not choreography out of their heads during this time, and for once, he was glad.

The music stopped abruptly. They wound down, stopping at different points, looking up in confusion at the manager in the mirror. "Is something wrong?" MinHyuk asked, gasping for breath.

"You look ragged today," the manager said.

"We just got back from lunch," EunHong said, taking the water SungMin handed her. "It's sort of the way we work." 

"It didn't look that bad," YoungJae said. "Did it?"

The manager, Kim HeeChul, smiled. "You still don't take teasing well," he said. "You all looked great. The wardrobe people are looking into the next concept, especially if we want a follow up after this." 

"We're meeting them at four," MinHyuk said. 

"Yes." HeeChul took a deep breath. "I want to warn you that you aren't going to like it."

SungMin groaned. "They aren't going to put her in a short skirt, right?" He gestured at EunHong.

HeeChul laughed. "I wouldn't know, but from what I heard, you won't care much for it. If you pick the wrong song."

YoungJae lowered his bottle and capped it. "What's the wrong song?" he asked.

"Good question." HeeChul took out a paper and started the discussion about what they wanted to do next. He didn't expect them to sit down, like their first manager had. HeeChul worked more on their level, able to deal with their walking around to cool off so they didn't stiffen up and hurt themselves. MinHyuk appreciated the distinction. 

"A ballad?" YoungJae asked after a fair amount of talk, and stared at SungMin. "You want a ballad?"

SungMin grinned at him. "Hey, we get to show off our talent all the time. We have that blues thing, it fits your voice perfectly, and the rest of us sing enough to satisfy us, if no one else."

"Meaning the fans," EunHong said.

YoungJae shook his head. "I don't think...."

"I think it's perfect," MinHyuk said. "If nothing else, it'll encourage us to work more on our vocals as well. We need the motivation."

"And it's a reason for them not to stick me in a short skirt," EunHong said.

YoungJae laughed.

"Are we agreed?" HeeChul asked.

"They're going to hate us," MinHyuk said, but nodded when the rest of them did. "Yes, we're agreed," he added.

"Good." HeeChul stuck the paper back in his folder. "I'll get them the information so they have a head start on something to work on." He grinned at them conspiratorially, and left again.

"That will not be the end of it, I'm sure," MinHyuk said. "Come on, let's get back to it."

HeeChul returned later, in enough time to get them to a shower to wash up before they went into wardrobe. The people there looked like they'd sucked on lemons, but there was no sign of a short skirt anywhere.

Dresses, yes, but nothing so short as to make EunHong uncomfortable. She grimaced at the dresses, and MinHyuk pulled her aside as soon as she opened her mouth. "Even Yoon MiRae wears a dress," he reminded her. "You can do a dress for one song."

She pouted. "But I don't...." She slowed down, her eyes drifting past him to where one wardrobe lady held up a suit to SungMin, then sent him off to try it on.

MinHyuk raised an eyebrow. "The colors aren't too horrible, they seem to know what style you like, and if that look is anything to go by," he added, his voice dropping quieter, "we can't let you two stand next to each other. Especially if he gets one just like it when you get dressed. Don't argue."

She turned to look at him, face screwed up to complain. "It's not a short skirt," he pointed out before she could. "It's a dress, but it's not horrible, and it doesn't show off everything. Let them have this, or they'll force the skirt issue."

EunHong started to say something, but stopped, hesitating. "Okay, you're right," she said.

"It's all about give and take," MinHyuk said. "Keep that in mind." 

"Right." EunHong straightened her shoulders and went over to the ladies by her clothes rack. They swarmed her, checking styles with her, talking hair, makeup, and colors, and she slowly warmed up, agreeing a lot more than MinHyuk had expected. But then, he realized, when she said no, they immediately put that one back and went on to the next one. Good. She'd understood.

By the time the three of them were fitted with their outfits of a suit, tie, and shirt, EunHong had a pile of six or so dresses. They only got to see three - the first one got nixed before she even got out of the dressing room by one of the wardrobe ladies, the third didn't fit, and the fourth had something wrong with it. MinHyuk didn't hear what, but it apparently didn't matter. The fifth was decided on, although they made her try on the sixth just in case.

From the look on SungMin's face, no, they couldn't stand the two next to each other. And the way EunHong twirled in the dress, she seemed to like it more than she expected. YoungJae whistled at her, and she blushed.

"Good," the head wardrobe lady said, looking much more satisfied than she had when they'd come in. "Thank you, all of you. We'll have you back to fit everything when we get it all done."

"Thank you," MinHyuk said, hearing the others echo him as they all bowed. They changed back into normal clothes, and went back to the practice room.

"Not so bad," YoungJae said, nudging EunHong. "Right?"

She rolled her eyes and nudged him back. "Not so bad," she agreed grudgingly. 

"Anyone hungry?" HeeChul asked as they filed in and closed the door again.

"Not really," MinHyuk said.

"Starving," SungMin said.

"You're always starving, you don't count," HeeChul told him. SungMin pouted at him.

"I could eat," EunHong said casually, carefully not looking at SungMin.

"Not really," YoungJae said. "Big lunch."

HeeChul watched them, smiling. "You're a pain," he said. "I'll get you two a snack, and then you work for another couple of hours, and then dinner. Fair?"

"Fair," SungMin said, although it sounded forced. "I guess."

"You are not the maknae, which I have to keep reminding you," HeeChul said. "She is. Stop being a brat."

"I have a good teacher," SungMin shot back, and HeeChul laughed shortly before leaving.

"You're horrible," YoungJae said.

SungMin grinned. "I try."

"You are very trying," MinHyuk said. 

"The more trying the better," SungMin said. EunHong slapped him in the chest and he laughed. 

"Back to work. We have a couple of hours to go, and if we get started now, it'll go faster."

YoungJae had already moved to the music player. "Shall we do a review really fast, before going on to what we're doing this weekend?"

"Please," EunHong said, and MinHyuk nodded.

****

EunHong leaned her head on SungMin's shoulder, something that took more contortion than usual - well, not so true. She'd just never stopped growing and would always be taller than any guy she dated. SungMin was the first one she'd met that didn't seem to mind that. "Tired?" he asked.

"Pleasantly," she said. "It's just nice to rest for a moment."

"Yes," SungMin agreed. "We have an open night tomorrow, and I think the others are talking about going out. Want to go with them?"

EunHong sat up. "So... we might get to meet this whatever of MinHyuk's?" she asked, taking his hand. 

"It could be. I don't think it's anything big, just... somewhere not in the dorm or the practice room. Like, a park or some small restaurant or something." 

"That sounds restful," EunHong said. "Like... some place we wouldn't have to pretend?"

"Something like that," SungMin said, and kissed her cheek. "It'd be nice, huh?"

"Yeah."

EunHong leaned against him, resting her head on his - a more comfortable position for both of them - and closed her eyes. Hopefully, it would be nice.

The promised night appeared, and HeeChul had barely told them they were on their own and could go out before they'd escaped out the door, his laughter following them down the hall to the elevator.

"Do we get to meet your friend?" YoungJae asked MinHyuk as they piled into a taxi together.

MinHyuk grinned at them. "If he makes it," he said.

"A-ha," EunHong said, sharing a smile with SungMin. "A him!"

"A him?" MinHyuk asked, laughing at her.

"We've been calling him your whatever, because we didn't know anything about who this person was you kept meeting," SungMin said. 

MinHyuk stared at him. "You didn't ask."

"We deemed it too rude," YoungJae said, looking up from his phone with a smile. "Privacy, you know?"

"As much as we can have, anyway," MinHyuk agreed. "Thank you."

"Any time," EunHong said with a grin.

SungMin laughed and squeezed her hand.

The small cafe didn't have many people there, all of them older, and EunHong felt her shoulders ease. Yes, that could change, but with luck it wouldn't.

They found a table in the back, ordered drinks and something to snack on, and relaxed. Within minutes, a man slipped back to join them, greeting MinHyuk with a hug. "I didn't realize you brought them all with you," he said, barely loud enough for EunHong to hear him.

"They've been curious," MinHyuk said, and that made them all perk up. "Guys, this is Lee Gunwoo, my friend. Gunwoo, this is..."

"We are his children," SungMin said when MinHyuk hesitated. YoungJae snorted and had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from spitting out his drink.

MinHyuk sighed. "Yes, sometimes it feels like that," he said. "YoungJae, SungMin, and EunHong. She goes by Zelo onstage, usually."

"Not usually," EunHong protested. "Always." She bowed. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"It's good to meet you all," Gunwoo said, and sat down next to MinHyuk. 

"We'll leave you alone now," YoungJae said with a smile.

"But that means we get to interrogate MinHyuk when we get home," SungMin added.

Gunwoo and MinHyuk exchanged a glance. "Fair enough," MinHyuk said. "Thank you."

EunHong smiled and squeezed SungMin's hand under the table. The conversation ranged a lot, shifting around to include different people. When they discussed something she didn't particularly care about, she quietly excused herself from the table and went to use the rest room. Coming back out, EunHong stopped dead at the sight of someone she hadn't expected to see again.

The other woman's eyes lit up, and she smiled widely. Thankfully, she didn't say anything until she got closer. "EunHong. It's good to see you again," she said, and EunHong hugged her. 

"JaeIn. It's good to see you, too. What are you doing here?" EunHong asked. "Well, okay, stupid question," she added, rolling her eyes at herself.

"Just grabbing a cup of coffee," JaeIn said. "You?"

EunHong smiled. "Escaping the dorm for the night," she said. "We have the night off, and wanted to get out."

"You're allowed to?" JaeIn teased, and EunHong laughed. It sounded forced to her, though, and she stopped it too soon. 

"Yeah, but not very often." EunHong gestured to where the others sat. "It's nice to see somewhere that's not the dorm or the practice room."

"Yeah, I bet it is," JaeIn said, and hugged her again. "Maybe I'll see you around again?"

"Yeah, maybe," EunHong said, and went back to sit next to SungMin. She glanced back to see JaeIn sit next to another girl and lean close in a familiar movement. 

"Who was that?" SungMin asked.

EunHong looked at him. "An old friend," she said.

He nodded and didn't ask any further.

They got back to the dorm, and EunHong trailed behind the others. SungMin, after a confused look at her, dropped back with her. "Roof?" she asked.

"Yeah. Let me tell MinHyuk and find out when he wants us back."

Not that she would go back to the dorm with them; her place was up two floors, with the female trainees. They seemed okay with having her there, although the new girls inevitably stared at her with stars in their eyes. That only lasted a week, or until the day she got up with make-up smeared on her face and they realized she was no different than they were.

"We've got 15 minutes," SungMin said, sounding mildly upset.

"It's enough," EunHong said, and pulled him back into the elevator.

They found the roof empty, and she took him over to their favorite corner, where they could look up at the few stars and not have to worry about falling over the edge. "So I didn't want to tell you there," she said, rubbing her arm.

"Tell me what?" SungMin took her free hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of it. 

"The girl I met tonight - not met, but saw - was an old friend, but she is also an ex-girlfriend."

SungMin's motion didn't stop. "You dated her?" he asked, something unfamiliar in his voice. 

"Yeah. It... didn't end well," she said slowly.

"You seemed to cover it well."

EunHong shrugged, rubbing her arm again before stopping with her hand at her elbow. "I don't think she realized how hard it was for me," she said. "I was really confused."

"When did that happen?" he asked.

"About the time I auditioned for the company. She didn't think I should, because I wouldn't have time for her. Which, she was probably right, considering how often MinHyuk gets to see Gunwoo, but still. It hurt."

SungMin frowned. "So... what's between us?" he asked.

EunHong squeezed her arm. "I... really like you."

"But?"

"No but," she said. "I'm just... I don't really...." She sighed. "I love who I love, regardless of what their outside body looks like, you know?"

SungMin's frown deepened. "You don't depend on someone's gender to fall in love."

"Right." EunHong tilted her head. "Is that a problem?" She tried not to be defensive about it, tried not to show how vulnerable she felt. It helped that he hadn't dropped her hand. She wished the frown would disappear from his face. She much preferred his smile.

He looked up at her. "I don't know," he said. "I need to think about it, and maybe talk to MinHyuk."

EunHong rubbed her arm again. "If it's not, can you still work with me?" 

SungMin looked at her, meeting her eyes for the first time. "Yes," he said. "I can." 

EunHong smiled, relieved. "Okay," she said. "Thank you."

SungMin tugged gently on her hand. "Come on," he said. "Before MinHyuk chases us down."

EunHong followed him back inside and down the stairs. He didn't let her hand go until she went into the apartment. No kiss, but that didn't surprise her or really even bother her. She'd given him enough to think about. She just hoped that he would - could - come to grips with this.

It didn't bother her either that he'd tell MinHyuk and YoungJae. She had faith that they'd also be able to work with her.

 

"You're la... You look disturbed," MinHyuk said when SungMin came in. "Everything okay?"

"I'm not sure," SungMin admitted, and plopped down on the couch next to MinHyuk when MinHyuk patted it.

"Something with EunHong?"

"Yeah." SungMin hesitated. "Did you see that girl she talked with tonight?"

"The one she hugged?"

"Yeah. She's EunHong's ex."

MinHyuk pursed his lips. "She told you this why?" 

"I think she wanted me to know on her terms."

"You're getting serious with her."

"Possibly," SungMin said. "I think this means she'd like to."

"Do you want to?"

"Yes," SungMin said. "I mean, I thought I did."

"Nervous about this?"

SungMin sighed. "I'm not sure I could compete with most guys," he said, feeling stupid even as he said it. "How in the world am I supposed to compete with girls, too?"

MinHyuk stared at him, his lips twitching. "You may be over thinking this," he said.

SungMin shrugged. "Why? You don't worry about Gunwoo finding someone else?"

MinHyuk started to say something, then closed his mouth and swallowed. "Yeah, I worried about it, a little," he admitted. "And I have mentioned it. He has the same worries. I finally decided to trust him."

SungMin stared at him. "Trust?"

"Yes. That she'll stay true to you as long as you're together."

"We're not, though," SungMin said.

"Yet," MinHyuk said. "I suggest talking to her about it."

"Huh," SungMin said. "I guess that's something to think about."

"No, because you over think everything," MinHyuk teased. "Just talk to her."

SungMin snorted softly. "I can only try."

"Yep," MinHyuk said. "Now go get in bed. Early morning tomorrow." 

SungMin stood up and went into the bedroom. He changed and lay down, noting in passing that YoungJae had already fallen asleep. It took him no time at all to fall asleep himself.

MinHyuk's advice stuck with SungMin when he woke up the next morning. He dressed thoughtfully and ate half heartedly, perking up only when EunHong slid into the chair next to him. "How'd you sleep?" she asked.

"Pretty well," SungMin said. "You?"

"Not too bad," she said.

He smiled and patted her knee. "I'm glad," he said, and he meant it. 

They huddled in the back of the car on the way in, and SungMin leaned close to her. "Can I tell you what bothers me most about what you told me last night?"

EunHong looked at him, then nodded, her hand tightening around his. "Please."

He took a deep breath. "I have to admit it sounds stupid," he said. "But I... I'm not sure I could keep your attention. It's hard enough with just boys, but add in the girls... I know how sexy they can be."

EunHong looked at him. "I don't think it's stupid," she said. "I can totally understand that." She reached up and touched his face. "I can't promise I won't look," she said. "Or point them out, so you can look too. Right now, though, you're all I want to look at with any intent to do everything you'll let me."

SungMin couldn't have kept his jaw shut to save his life. EunHong smiled and shut his mouth for him. "Not your best look," she whispered, and kissed him. 

When they climbed out of the car, SungMin wondered if he'd imagined the look of longing on YoungJae's face.


	2. YoungJae

The movie started making the kind of music YoungJae hated because he knew what was coming up. He glanced at the other three, then carefully extracted himself from the pile of them and climbed easily to his feet.

"Everything okay?" MinHyuk asked, sounding sleepy. 

"Yeah," YoungJae said. "I'm off to bed." He yawned and stretched, and then went maybe faster than he needed to for the bedroom. He got into bed and just as he got comfortable, his phone rang. He checked the caller ID, and smiled as he answered. "Hey."

"I didn't wake you, did I?" JungMin asked. Behind him, YoungJae could hear the others moving around, sounding exhausted. 

"No, I just went to bed. They're watching a movie."

"You didn't want to see it?" JungMin asked.

"No, not really," he YoungJae said. "I don't have any interest in it. You sound like you guys are working hard."

"Yeah," JungMin said and laughed gently. "I think DongHyun just realized that it's too much and we'll have to go a bit less intense tomorrow, unless he wants to lose the maknae line. They're so tired they're actually too tired to complain."

YoungJae let out a short laugh. "I've been there," he said. "I'm surprised you're not that tired."

"Oh, I'm tired, but I'm not insane enough to try a dance battle in the middle of a choreography-heavy day."

"Ouch," YoungJae said. "I bet they don't do that again."

"I bet they do. It's the way they work."

YoungJae chuckled. "I'm glad we have a different kind of insanity here," he said.

"It's a good thing you didn't say something about no insanity," JungMin said. "I would have laughed at you."

"I would have deserved it," YoungJae said. "Hey, any news on the next time we might get to meet again?"

"Hang on."

YoungJae pulled up his schedule as well, checking out the next time they had some free-ish time. It took some doing, but they eventually found a time they could meet. By the time the others came in for bed, YoungJae had hung up and nearly fallen asleep. He managed to tell his group mates good night before he finally fell asleep.

The time seemed to take forever - well, okay, it was forever - until he had a chance to meet with JungMin again. He knew that it would be like this, but he hadn't counted on SungMin and EunHong. They looked so happy, so... complete, and he couldn't stop the jealousy that bubbled up in him every time he saw them exchange a look, touch hands, anything. 

Something had to change, but he didn't know what.

YoungJae tried not to make it obvious that he avoided SungMin and EunHong. It turned out impossible, so he at least managed to make it less that it was. He didn't want them to feel they couldn't hug, kiss, or any of that. Every time he saw them, he felt... less. Less of a person, less of a friend, just less.

"What's wrong?" MinHyuk asked one afternoon, his hand pressed gently to YoungJae's shoulder.

"Nothing," YoungJae said, and hid a wince in his book. He'd answered too fast.

MinHyuk took the book from his hands, set it on the couch out of reach, and sat next to him. "You don't lie well."

YoungJae folded his hands in his lap. "It's not anything anyone can help," he said.

"No one?" MinHyuk asked.

"No, not really." Well, maybe one person at the moment, but he couldn't help, he really couldn't. 

"So, what is it?" 

YoungMin shrugged.

"SungMin and EunHong think they've done something to make you mad," MinHyuk said after a moment.

"No. I tried to make it so they wouldn't think that," YoungJae said, shoulders hunching further.

"It's not them?"

"No. It's me."

MinHyuk's hand covered YoungJae's. "So what's wrong?" he asked again.

"Jealousy," YoungJae said. "And I'm lonely. I don't want them to think I don't want them together. I don't want them to hate me because they feel like they have to change the way they act when I'm around. I don't want them to know." 

"Can I help?"

YoungJae shrugged again. "How? You have your own boyfriend."

"He can't be around most of the time. What's going on with JungMin?" 

"He's busy," YoungJae said. "Like we are. We found a chance to get together, but it's like three weeks out." 

"Ouch," MinHyuk said, and squeezed YoungJae's hands. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah. So." YoungJae shrugged yet again. "That's all it is. I don't want them to change. I just...."

"Just what?"

YoungJae felt his face flush. "Wish I had someone to cuddle with, sometimes."

MinHyuk looked at him, and YoungJae met his eyes, somewhat surprised not to see the scorn he expected. "Cuddle with?" Minhyuk asked.

YoungJae's face went hotter. "Yeah. Just... cuddle. Lean on someone, or have them lean on me. No kissing, no... anything else, just... cuddling." He'd like to kiss JungMin, but not anyone else. And definitely no one in the group.

MinHyuk nodded slowly. "If it's okay with my boyfriend, will I do?" he asked. 

YoungJae's eyes widened. "Yeah," he said. "If it's okay, I'd like that."

"I'll ask him tomorrow night," MinHyuk promised.

"Thanks," YoungJae said, and had to hold himself back from leaning on MinHyuk and crying.

 

"He wants what?" Gunwoo asked, leaning up on one elbow to look down at MinHyuk.

"Someone to cuddle with," MinHyuk said. "He's looked miserable for the last couple of weeks."

"He's just lonely."

"Yeah. It's hard enough with you and me, with my schedule. His closest friend is another idol, and so they have to work around both schedules."

Gunwoo whistled. "Sounds like a nightmare," he agreed.

"The next time they can meet is in three weeks, and it's been a couple of weeks since the last time."

Gunwoo winced. "No wonder he's having a hard time," he said. "Are you okay with it?"

MinHyuk hesitated. "I think it'll help him," he said. "He's not interested in anything more than someone to share a blanket with while watching a movie or something." 

"You're sure?"

"He said so, and I trust him." MinHyuk brushed his fingers down Gunwoo's cheek. "None of us have ever thought he seemed attracted to any of us. He doesn't mind my relationship with you, he's never tried to do anything inappropriate with any of us." He met GunWoo's eyes. "I'll tell him no if you don't want me to."

Gunwoo regarded him quietly. "Do you think it'll help him if you're there for him?"

"I do," MinHyuk said. "I feel like he'd be much better if he had a chance to cuddle with someone. I know I do, when we get the chance to spend time together."

Gunwoo nodded. "Okay. You'll tell me if something happens?"

MinHyuk sighed and kissed him. "Thank you," he said. 

Gunwoo kissed him back.

 

YoungJae paced slowly, but still very much a pace. Thankfully, neither SungMin nor EunHong seemed to notice, but eventually YoungJae realized that he drove himself crazy and went into the bedroom. He settled onto his bed and checked his phone - possibly obsessive, but no one saw it but him - to find a text from JungMin.

~Actually have another window. What's your schedule Saturday?~

YoungJae scrambled out of bed, stopping halfway. ~Inkigayo,~ he texted back and dropped back into the bed.

~Postponed,~ JungMin sent immediately.

YoungJae scrambled again for the iPad that held their schedule, to find half the day suddenly empty. ~Oh. I'll talk to M when he gets in. Hope so.~ 

~Me, too,~ JungMin sent back.

YoungJae sat down on the edge of his bed. ~Busy? Can I call?~

Almost immediately, his phone rang, the opening lines of "Witch." YoungJae answered it. "Hey."

"You beat me to it," JungMin told him. "I was about to ask the same thing." 

YoungJae lay down. "On a break?" he asked.

"A sort of stolen one," JungMin said. "Our official break started 15 minutes ago, and DongHyun fell asleep. The maknae line is zealously guarding him from any interruption." 

YoungJae snickered. "I bet they are. Who's the ringleader?" 

"Toss up between MinWoo and YoungMin, HyunSung thinks. I don't care. Enjoying your free evening?"

"Yeah, except I'm restless, so maybe not as much as I might. Any news on what is going on Saturday?"

"I figure it's something from the Blue House. That's about all that'll postpone those."

"True," YoungJae agreed.

"So, you're not doing anything choreography-heavy this round. Do you think you'll be able to join me somewhere?"

"Depends on if MinHyuk wants to get a start on the choreography for the follow up, but he's got someone he wants to see, too. So maybe. I think. Hope so. Wishing hard."

JungMin laughed softly. "Yeah. Um. Sounds like leader-nim is awake. Text me when you know anything."

"I will. See ya."

"Bye."

YoungJae hung up, tucked his phone under his pillow, and closed his eyes. He slept almost immediately.

 

"Inikgayo was cancelled. Or postponed. Or something," YoungJae said once EunHong had joined them for breakfast the next morning. 

MinHyuk, SungMin, and EunHong stared at him. "What?" MinHyuk asked.

YoungJae grinned. "I heard from JungMin. He's got a free afternoon. I thought we might want to plan.... something."

"Like get out of here?" SungMin asked, the question more aimed at EunHong than anyone else.

"Yes," MinHyuk said, and got up. "I'll check with HeeChul, and see if we can get out."

"I probably won't go with you," YoungJae said. "Sorry."

"I don't know that it'll be something we all want to do together," MinHyuk said.

EunHong laughed. "I have to agree," she said. "You just want to spend time with Gunwoo."

"Yes," MinHyuk said. "Which is not a problem, right? We all get to play with our favorite people."

SungMin grinned. "I'm all for that," he said.

"Good," MinHyuk said, and dialed as he left the room. He returned a few minutes later. "So here's the problem."

SungMin groaned. EunHong smacked his shoulder.

"We're starting the new choreography this week for the follow up, and HeeChul wants us to have at least some practice Saturday."

"That's not unreasonable," YoungJae said.

"Yes, it is," SungMin said.

"Stop it," EunHong said, laughing. "It is not."

"So I'll let you know when we can get out of practice, so we can make plans." MinHyuk looked pleased, and YoungJae figured he could deal with that.

SungMin and EunHong left the kitchen to get ready, and MinHyuk stopped YoungJae by taking his wrist. "I talked to Gunwoo last night," he said.

YoungJae turned to face him, not sure how to feel. "What did he say?"

"He's okay with the idea," MinHyuk said. "Not that I think you'll need it too much for a while, but it's okay." 

"Thank you," YoungJae said. "I appreciate that. Do... you think we can get some time off Saturday?"

"I think we can all even clear out, if you need a place to meet JungMin," MinHyuk said. "I'll see what we can come up with."

YoungJae smiled, trying not to cry. "Sounds perfect," he said. "Thanks."

 

"Are you sure this is okay?" JungMin asked as YoungJae backed up to let him in.

"Yes," YoungJae said, and smiled. "Come on in. Do you want something?"

"No, I'm good," JungMin said, and took his wrist. "Is everything okay?"

YoungJae turned to look at him. "It's fine," he said. "I'm fine. I got the movie, if you want to watch it, and we have popcorn."

JungMin laughed. "You mean, they won't get mad if you eat the popcorn?"

"Nope," YoungJae said, grinning back at him. "They don't know about this stash. it's all mine, just for us."

"Smart," JungMin said.

He followed as YoungJae popped the popcorn, lounging casually against the counter, offering to help when needed. They finally got into the front room, where JungMin pulled out some of the candy he'd brought.

YoungJae didn't miss the looks JungMin kept sending him, but he didn't ignore them, looking back in something like invitation. The movie got ignored as JungMin scooted closer.

"Hey," he said, and turned the movie down. YoungJae didn't care really, curious about what JungMin wanted. "I just wanted to know exactly... I mean, I wanted you to know that I really like you."

"What do you mean?" YoungJae asked, leaning closer.

"I mean, I find you attractive," JungMin said, looking and sounding somewhat nervous.

YoungJae bit his lip. "You're one of the best looking guys I've ever met," he said, and JungMin's expression eased. 

"That's a relief to hear, even if it sounds egotistical," JungMin said.

YoungJae laughed. "I think it can be excused this time," he said. "So... what do we do now?"

"Well," JungMin said. "I'd like to kiss you, if I may."

YoungJae shifted closer. "I wouldn't mind that at all," he said, hiding the nerves in his stomach, the way it twisted.

JungMin met him halfway and kissed him. YoungJae forgot about the movie and everything else. "There's a thing," he said, sometime later.

JungMin drew back. "A thing?" he asked, reaching for the remote. He paused the movie, the sudden silence a surprise.

"Yeah." YoungJae's hands twisted in his shirt. "Before it get too far."

JungMin's smile twisted. "Too far?"

"I..." YoungJae swallowed. "I'm not interested in having sex. Ever."

JungMin blinked at him. "Ever?"

YoungJae shook his head. "I... that's what I mean. I don't want you to go into this thinking it might get that far. Not that I think... I mean...."

JungMin held his hand up and YoungJae stopped stuttering. "I understand," he said, his tone still kind. "You just...."

"I'm not interested," YoungJae said. "I like... I mean, I like kissing, I like cuddling. I like romance, but I'm not interested in sex. At all. I just... wanted you to know, so you didn't think you'd wasted your time."

JungMin's uplifted hand fell on YoungJae's thigh. "Oh," he said, and YoungJae thought he understood. "I don't see any reason to stop for tonight. I don't know about later, but I will let you know. I won't leave you hanging."

YoungJae smiled, hiding his relief. "Thank you," he said.

As an official first date, it wasn't a bad one. At least, that part had gone well.

 

"You busy?" 

HyunSung looked up, brow furrowed. "No. What's up?"

JungMin laughed shortly. "I'm... I have something to think about. And I'd like to talk to you and see what you think."

HyunSung leaned back. "Are you sure?"

JungMin nodded. "Yes," he said. "I just... I trust you not to make anything out of it."

HyunSung nodded and patted the bed next to him. "Sit down," he said.

JungMin did, and then leaned back on his hands. "I...." he started, then stopped again. "I have a friend," he said, feeling lame, because everyone did this, and everyone knew they didn't actually have a friend. "He's falling for a girl, who, he just found out, isn't interested in having sex. Ever."

HyunSung nodded slowly. "That happens," he said softly. "What's the question?"

"Is it worth the... Is it worth it to even get close to her?"

HyunSung frowned. "I guess that depends," he said. "If your friend is just in it for sex, then no."

JungMin sighed. "True, but if he wants, eventually, to have sex with this girl...."

"He'll have to deal, I guess," HyunSung said. "He'll have to figure out what is really important."

"What does he do if he does want to keep dating her? I mean, that's a serious problem."

"He'll have to figure it out on his own, and he'll have to decide what's the way he wants to go on it. Not to mention talking to the girl."

JungMin nodded. "Yeah. I'll talk to him. Thanks."

He got up and let himself out, thoughts swirling even more.

The next day passed in a blur, and somehow JungMin managed to keep it together enough not to show how off he felt. It apparently didn't work, because DongHyun pulled him aside when the others straggled off to bed. "You seem preoccupied," he said. "Can I help?"

JungMin shrugged. "I don't know if anyone can," he said. "I guess... can I talk to you?"

"Always," DongHyun said, and didn't even sound like he'd rather go to bed. "Now?"

"If it's a good time," JungMin said.

"It's perfect," DongHyun said, and ushered him toward the couch. "What's on your mind?"

JungMin took a deep breath, and explained it much the way he had with HyunSung. DongHyun didn't try to second guess him, didn't even give a sign that he knew who JungMin really meant. It helped. 

"You want to know what to tell your friend."

"Yes," JungMin said.

"I don't know that you can tell him anything concrete," DongHyun said. "His girl sounds like she's pretty important, and it sounds like she's been hurt because of this before."

JungMin stared at him. "Why do you say that?"

"Because of the way she reacted, the way she told him. It's definitely normal in our society, that sex is just... part of the relationship. Having someone not interested is kind of weird."

JungMin sighed in relief. "I thought so, too," he said. "I've never heard of someone just not interested."

"So the decision has to come on other fronts. And, frankly, if what he'll get out of the relationship outstrips what he thinks he'll miss."

"The sex."

"Yes." DongHyun took a deep breath. "I just hope he doesn't leave her hanging too long. It gets nerve-wracking on a normal level, and this is... not what we'd call normal."

"No," JungMin said. "She doesn't mind kissing, hugging, that sort of thing, but... it's not quite the same."

"No. And if sex is that important to him, maybe he'd better let her go."

JungMin nodded thoughtfully. "I'll pass on the information," he said. "Thanks. You look like you need sleep."

"Check the mirror," DongHyun said, getting to his feet. "You look like you've already fallen asleep, but your eyes don't know it yet."

JungMin laughed and followed him into the bedroom.

 

They all noticed the silence. YoungJae seemed to have shrunk into himself, almost convulsively avoiding his phone. He looked miserable, in unguarded moments between songs, when he thought no one was looking. MinHyuk didn't have time to do anything, at least not what he wanted, or to ask YoungJae what he needed. During each break, HeeChul had something else for him, and he barely had time to get a drink before he had to go back to work.

The third time it happened, he caught something in the mirror, and had to smile. SungMin and EunHong sat on either side of YoungJae, not talking or anything, just leaning on him. He looked relaxed, just a little, and enough for MinHyuk to feel better.

When he turned back to the three, YoungJae had curled into SungMin, and he and EunHong cuddled closer to him, the three making up almost a circle. Without a second thought, MinHyuk went to join them, completing the circle. He didn't realize YoungJae cried until then. EunHong gave him a look that said she didn't understand, and then looked at the door.

"We're on our own for a bit," MinHyuk said in answer to that.

YoungJae tried to straighten up, wiping at his face, but SungMin tightened his grip on him. "No," he said. "Get it all out, and it'll go better."

"It might not," YoungJae said.

"It will," EunHong said. "At least for a while, if not forever."

YoungJae glanced at her. "I'm sorry to take your boyfriend," he said.

EunHong squeezed him. "You are welcome to borrow him for short times," she teased gently. "But you have to borrow me, too, sometimes."

YoungJae looked at her, smiling through his tears. "You're too tall," he said.

SungMin snorted. "Actually, she's really comfortable to lean on, so don't knock it until you've tried it." 

YoungJae looked at him, MinHyuk's confusion reflected exactly on YoungJae's face. "You... don't mind?"

"As long as I get her back, no," SungMin said. "I don't think you can make me jealous."

MinHyuk laughed. "I wish I had a recording of this," he said. "It'd be awesome."

"You'd get killed," EunHong said quietly, almost casually. "Like the first time you tried to tell anyone or threatened to tell anyone."

They all looked at her. MinHyuk could tell that she absolutely meant it, even if her expression looked unthreatening. If she looked threatening, she didn't mean it. A strange girl, yes, but he wouldn't trade her for the world.

"I wouldn't do that," MinHyuk said. "I'd just replay it in 20 years to get you all to laugh about how utterly ridiculous you all sound."

YoungJae laughed, soft and not very long, but a laugh. "You think we don't know it?" he asked.

"Yes, but I'll want to remind you," MinHyuk said.

EunHong rolled her eyes. "You're out of your mind," she said.

"It takes one to know one," MinHyuk said, and scooted backwards when she lunged at him. Her progress didn't go very far; both SungMin and YoungJae had hold of her arm and they pulled her back. 

"Nope, no wasting this time," YoungJae said. "I like having both of you."

They went still, and MinHyuk burst into laughter, startling them all. "Your faces," he gasped, panting for breath. "You should see what you look like."

SungMin sighed. "You are an idiot," he said.

MinHyuk smiled.

"If you say that again, you'll regret it," EunHong said.

"I don't have to. You already thought it," MinHyuk said.

EunHong froze, and then sighed. "You're right."

MinHyuk smiled. "I know. How are you doing, YoungJae?"

YoungJae straightened slowly, and he looked better. Not great, but better, lighter, as if the time they'd taken had helped. "Good enough," he said.

SungMin let him go, and EunHong moved away from him, to give him room to stand up. "Thanks," YoungJae added, looking at all of them. "I really needed that."

"We could tell," SungMin said, pulling himself to his feet. "We didn't mind." He offered his hand to EunHong, and helped her up.

"I take it that means we're all ready to work?" MinHyuk asked, getting up himself.

"Yes," EunHong said. She didn't look mad, she didn't sound mad, and MinHyuk knew she'd still get back at him somehow. He actually looked forward to seeing what she'd do.

 

It helped. YoungJae couldn't have told them thank you enough for that time spent huddled with all three of them, surrounded by people who loved him, and who - at least in the case of SungMin and EunHong - didn't really understand any of it. He'd probably explain at some point, but he didn't know how, or when, or what he'd say. He just figured he owed them. 

"You look tons better," MinHyuk said, laying an arm around YoungJae's shoulder in the car on the way home.

"I feel better," YoungJae said, willingly nestling into his side. "Thanks. For letting us have that time."

"I figured we'd get more done if you had it," MinHyuk said.

"Did you say anything to SungMin and EunHong?"

"No. They did that all on their own. Are you going to tell them?"

YoungJae sighed. "If the topic comes up, I will, yeah." He shook his head. "No, because the topic will never come up. I want to, though. So they understand." He thought a minute. "Do you think they'll understand?"

"I do," MinHyuk said, without hesitation. "They've got their own things going on, but I think that will only help them understand - or, if not understand, accept - you."

YoungJae laughed softly. "I guess that's even better than understanding," he said.

"Well, at least a close second," MinHyuk said. "What's going on with you?"

"I told JungMin," YoungJae said. "He... seemed to take it well enough, but I haven't heard from him all day. I know that's not much," he added, sounding almost desperate. "But usually I hear something."

MinHyuk squeezed him gently. "I know," he said. "It's hard when you're both doing this, but there's always time to even send a text saying hi. Or something. Did you text him?"

"Yeah. Just quick thanks for the evening, because it was fun, no matter how it turned out."

MinHyuk nodded. "Good. So the ball is all in his court."

"Which isn't really helpful, because I feel like I can't possibly manage any of this without screaming," YoungJae said. "I hate not knowing. I'm used to it, professionally, but personally, it's really hard to deal with. I just...."

MinHyuk laughed softly. "I know," he said. "I get that. It's rough."

"You're really lucky, you know," YoungJae said after a while, leaning into MinHyuk when the car turned. "Gunwoo seems like such a wonderful guy."

"I do know," MinHyuk said. "I am so lucky, and so blessed, and that's why I can be less... well. I mean, I can step back and let you guys have your times, too. I know it's not what the company wants, but I want people and not automatons, and they can go hang if things aren't going well. Besides, just a couple of minutes, or an hour, can sometimes make all the difference between three wasted days of trying to work, and one day of serious progress that would go farther than those three wasted days." He shrugged, and it rubbed YoungJae's' shoulder. "So we may never be Infinite, but we're Lucid, so we don't want to be Infinite."

"That is so convoluted, it actually makes sense," EunHong said, turning around to look at them.

SungMin turned as well. "I have to agree," he said, reached over, and tousled YoungJae's hair. "You sound like you feel better."

"I do," YoungJae said, and straightened. "I can't even tell you how much better I feel. Thank you so much for letting me cuddle with you for a while this afternoon. It meant a lot."

"We could tell," EunHong said. "I meant it. We're available for that any time."

"Almost," SungMin said, and winked at YoungJae. "Sometimes we'll want time to ourselves."

"Of course," YoungJae said, managing to sound mock-offended so they wouldn't know how close to tears he was. "I wouldn't impose that much."

EunHong smacked SungMin on the shoulder, and he grinned at her, unabashed. "It's true," he said. "I do want time with you."

"I know, but still." EunHong looked at YoungJae. "What...."

"We're here," HeeChul called from the front seat. "Everyone out."

Grateful for the interruption, YoungJae gathered his stuff as the others did the same, and followed them up the stairs to their dorm. He felt so much less fragile, and at the same time absolutely exhausted. It wasn't abnormal to him, He usually finished the day like that. At least, exhausted. He couldn't speak for the exhausted part of things.

HeeChul left them with the usual: "Pick up tomorrow at 7:00, be ready. EunHong, upstairs in 30 minutes. I will check."

"Yes, sir," she said, with a salute she'd perfected. HeeChul scowled at her and left again.

YoungJae felt their attention turn to him. "You up for talking?" SungMin asked.

"Only if you want to," EunHong added. "I'll admit I'm curious, but I also want to try to understand, and see if there's anything we can do to help."

YoungJae nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I don't know if it'll help me, but I'll give it a shot."

They sat down, and YoungJae hesitated, not sure what to say to start.

"You didn't hear anything from JungMin today," SungMin said when the silence continued to stretch longer than YoungJae had actually meant it to. 

"No," YoungJae said, and straightened. "I... he came over last night, and we watched a movie. Well. Part of a movie. And then we didn't see the rest of it."

"Sounds familiar," EunHong said. "It happens to us a lot of times." SungMin grinned at her.

"We just... just made out, you know," YoungJae said, trying not to blush. Of all the stupid things to be talking about. "But then I stopped him."

They watched him, silent. At least MinHyuk had heard this, knew, and lay a hand on YoungJae's knee to help him stay grounded. "Why?" SungMin asked.

YoungJae took a deep breath. "I... I am not interested in sex," he said. "I don't ever want to have it. And I wanted him to know that before it got too far, and he... You know. Thought it should happen."

Comprehension crossed their faces, and SungMin looked at EunHong, something like understanding in his eyes. "And so you're giving him time," SungMin said.

"Well, he said he wouldn't leave me hanging," YoungJae said. "So I'm giving him as much benefit of the doubt as I can. I mean... I'm being patient."

EunHong leaned over and hugged him. "So we really don't have to worry about you trying to steal one of us from the other," she said, and kissed his cheek. "So no sex. Cuddles are good?"

"Yes," YoungJae said. "And I like a good make-out session as the next person, as long as it's with someone I'm interested in. I like romance, I like being close, just... not sex."

"Which is why MinHyuk is cuddling with you, too," SungMin said.

"I checked with Gunwoo, and he seemed okay with it," MinHyuk said. "I think he'll feel even better if you guys want to help out."

"You talked to him before last night, though," EunHong said. "Didn't you? Because no way you'd do that over text, and you haven't had a chance to talk to him."

"I talked to him last time we had a break, before last night," MinHyuk said. 

"I was going crazy," YoungJae said. "I just got... lonely. I couldn't stand being around you because...." He hadn't meant to say that. "That's not right," he said, desperate not to hurt them. "I just got so jealous that you two could be together, and I rarely even got a chance to talk to JungMin, never mind sitting next to him under the same blanket to relax and hug. I don't want you to stop," he added firmly. "That's why I didn't say anything. You two are happy, and I don't want you to start to hate me because you think you can't do that when I'm around. So I told MinHyuk - because he insisted - and he suggested that maybe I could cuddle with him if he got permission from Gunwoo."

"That's why you were avoiding us," EunHong said.

"I was trying not to make it so obvious," YoungJae said. "I'm sorry. Yeah, that was it. I was just lonely and jealous. I think the cuddling with MinHyuk will help with both of those. And if not, we'll think of something else."

SungMin nodded, his hand wrapping around EunHong's. "The offer still stands," he said. "If you need our help, let us know. We can cuddle with you as well as each other, and it won't hurt either of us."

That did it. YoungJae buried his face in his hands and sobbed for the second time that day. "Thanks," he said though his tears. "I... I can't tell you how much that helps, just hearing it. I want you to tell me if it's too much. I can take it."

MinHyuk scooted closer and hugged him, pulling YoungJae to rest on him. "You think you'll get through this?"

"Even if he decides he can't deal with that, yeah," YoungJae said, the tears short-lived (thankfully). "I have you guys, and you're the best friends I could have asked for." A pleasant lethargy began to fill his limbs. 

"I think we've worn ourselves out," MinHyuk said. "And 7:00 comes early. SungMin, you walk EunHong up, and I'll get YoungJae to bed. Come back soon. We need to sleep or we're going to have a hard time doing anything tomorrow, catharsis tonight or not."

YoungJae got sluggishly to his feet. "Thanks," he said, with a low bow to each of them. The last one made him stagger. "You have made my life so much easier. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help yours."

He barely saw them leave, following MinHyuk's tug on his hand into the bedroom. He undressed, got something on he could sleep in - he hoped it was his, he just took what MinHyuk gave him - and fell into bed. MinHyuk left as YoungJae checked his phone to see a message. ~Fun for me, too. Have a lot to think about. Talk to you tomorrow. Or at least text.~

The hope of something, no matter what, gave him such relief that he barely had time to put his phone under his pillow before he fell asleep. 

 

"What are you going to tell him?" HyunSung asked when JungMin tucked his phone under his pillow. 

"I have no idea," JungMin said. "I haven't really had a chance to think about everything."

HyunSung nodded. "I hope it works out," he said.

JungMin turned over to face the wall. Sex was all well and good, but. He wondered what it would be like without YoungJae in his life, at least, not that way. They could definitely stay friends. If he let YoungJae go, though, someone would find him, someone who didn't care about the sex thing....

He nearly gasped at the jealousy that filled him at the thought of someone else hugging, cuddling with, sleeping with (actually sleeping, not anything else), kissing YoungJae. He blinked at the wall, stunned at the strength of the feeling. He hadn't realized how strongly he felt. He really did like spending time with YoungJae. He enjoyed their conversations, and the way he kissed....

JungMin sighed. That made things clearer - maybe. Maybe they made them muddier. Sex was huge... but not that big. He enjoyed it, but he'd seen the way MinWoo was, unashamed of who he slept with and able to take or not the relationship that came with it. The maknae had so many girlfriends and boyfriends that JungMin had no idea how he kept them all straight. He wasn't like some JungMin knew, out for notches on the bedpost or whatever, but sex was just... that, and something MinWoo seemed to need.

JungMin had never felt like that. He didn't mind it, but he preferred a relationship to just casual sex. He knew MinWoo and YoungJae would never get along, but that... wasn't a problem. It was him and YoungJae.

So if sex was out, how did he get close?

There were ways, he knew. YoungJae wasn't by any shot the first to feel that way, just the first he'd ever met. Maybe he could find something online. And... he could just ask YoungJae. He'd probably know better than anyone else. 

That settled - and a sudden realization that he'd actually made the decision without realizing it - he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

He looked forward to talking with YoungJae the next morning when he woke up, and pulled out his phone. No answer, but he had no idea what the day before had been like for YoungJae, or what time he had to get up.

His phone chimed when he came back from the shower. ~Morning. Sleep well?~

JungMin smiled. ~Yeah. Got a chance to talk on the phone sometime today?~

~I'll let you know,~ YoungJae sent, then seconds later, ~I have time now, if you do.~

Hands trembling, JungMin dialed the number and retreated to the balcony. "Hey," he said, when YoungJae answered. "You have some privacy?"

"Everyone's eating," YoungJae said. "You?"

"Balcony is a no-man's land. If one of us is out here, no one bugs him unless it's important." JungMin took a deep breath. "So, I was wondering when we could get together again."

YoungJae didn't answer for a while. "I don't see any free time in the schedule," he said. "I can ask and get back to you. What about you?"

"We've got a couple of evenings when KwangMin's off doing something," JungMin said. "That show of his, I think."

"Text me the dates, and I'll see what I can do." YoungJae hesitated. "Does this mean that you want... that it's okay?"

JungMin smiled. "It's okay," he said. "I thought about it last night, and yeah. It's all good. I don't mind... I mean, I thought about someone else cuddling with you, and just about got up to go hit that person, even if I didn't know who it was. Thank you," he added.

"You're welcome?" YoungJae said. "For what?"

"For telling me," JungMin said. "For giving me space. For trusting me."

"I love you," YoungJae said. "I didn't want to lie to you."

"I love you, too," JungMin said. "I will make sure that I do the same thing. Let you know when something is going on."

"Thank you," YoungJae said, and then sighed. "I am being yelled at. I think MinHyuk might kill me if I don't get something for breakfast."

"Think you can eat now?"

YoungJae chuckled. "Yeah," he said. "I think I can."

"Good. I look forward to your text."

"Thanks, JungMin. Later."

"Later." JungMin hung up and went inside, closing the door behind him.

"Got things straightened out?" DongHyun asked.

"I think so. He'll let me know if it's not," JungMin said.

DongHyun patted his shoulder. "Good."

 

"I don't think his feet are even touching the floor," SungMin said as YoungJae walked into the kitchen to sit down.

"They are too," YoungJae protested, and stamped his foot to prove it. 

"You talked to JungMin," EunHong said.

"Yes," YoungJae said, reaching for the cereal. "He said he's okay with it. And that he'll tell me if he's not."

"Good," MinHyuk said. "Now all we have to do is make sure you get time with him."

"Which means you get time with Gunwoo," SungMin pointed out."

"Of course," MinHyuk said, and grinned. "Enlightened self interest. Helping others helps me."

EunHong laughed. "I have to remember that," she said. "It's perfect."

"Yep," MinHyuk said. "And it's the best way to keep HeeChul in check. That's why we have a fair amount of free time."

YoungJae laughed. "How?"

"I just point out to him that sometimes, if we get a chance to relax, we'll perform better. He usually takes one look at whoever I'm talking about and agrees." 

"So we need to just look pathetic occasionally, and he'll back off?" EunHong asked.

"No," MinHyuk said. "Because I'll know you're faking."

"Do you get time off for you, too?" YoungJae asked.

"I don't usually feel I need it," MinHyuk said. "I get the time off when you do, remember?"

"True," EunHong said. "But still."

MinHyuk shook his head. "I'm fine," he said. "Now that this is worked out, let's get in and show them what it's like when we're all in top shape and happy, and see if we can't perfect the first half of the choreography today, if not more."

YoungJae added his voice to the chorus of agreements, and then began to eat so that he could be ready for the day.


	3. MinHyuk

"Have you seen your fancafe lately?" Gunwoo asked that night when MinHyuk called in response to a request that he call.

MinHyuk frowned. "No," he said. "I haven't had much time to do anything today. Is something wrong?"

"Check it, and then call me back."

He hung up abruptly. Stunned, MinHyuk hung up and went in search of a not-dead, not-occupied tablet. He found one, charging on the plug they could actually use it with, and sat down to take a look.

"Oh, shit," he muttered.

"What happened?" SungMin asked.

"Just... this." MinHyuk held up the article. "Someone got a picture of Gunwoo and I. It's not much, it's not anything about... but he's not happy."

YoungJae peeked over his shoulder to read it. "Oh," he said. "That's not... it's doesn't say anything about you dating, does it?"

"Yet," MinHyuk said. "Gunwoo hasn't hidden his preferences. Someone will recognize him, and it'll all get out...." He shook his head. "I need to call him. Stay out of the bedroom?"

"We'll do one better," EunHong said, getting up and pulling SungMin to his feet. "Call upstairs when you're done. My place is empty at the moment."

MinHyuk nodded. "Thanks."

YoungJae hugged him, then they were gone, minimal arguments at the door as they scrambled into their shoes. As soon as the door shut, MinHyuk called Gunwoo back. "Okay," he said. "I'm sorry about that. I really hadn't seen it. I can tell you're upset, so talk to me? I have time and privacy - the others went up to EunHong's apartment."

Gunwoo didn't answer for a long time. "I didn't want it getting out," he said. 

"I know," MinHyuk said. "I'm sorry it did. I wish I could change things. What can I... what can we do about it? Is there anything?"

Gunwoo sighed. "I don't know. it's just... this could reflect badly on you. I'm not... discrete."

"Which is fine," MinHyuk said. "I can go either way on this. I can totally keep it quiet, say we're just friends - and get the "how can you be friends with someone who might hit on you?" - or I can admit that we're seeing each other. I don't know how the others will feel, and it's a big step."

"I know that," Gunwoo said, sounding much less frustrated than he had a minute ago. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Which do you want?"

MinHyuk only knew Gunwoo hadn't hung up because he could hear his boyfriend (hopefully still his boyfriend) breathing over the phone. "You're asking me?" Gunwoo finally stammered out.

"Yes," MinHyuk said. 

Silence again. MinHyuk half wished he'd asked YoungJae to stay behind, so he could have someone to cuddle with. "I don't want you to think you'll come in second any more than you already do," he said after a moment. "I know I don't have time for you too much because of what I chose as my career. I know you understand, but this can't be easy."

"There is a third option," Gunwoo said. 

"If you think we should break up... I don't want that. If you do, I'll... go along with it. I just want you to know I'd rather not go that way."

Silence again. MinHyuk held his breath. "I'll have to think about that," Gunwoo said. "I need... just give me some time," he said. 

"I can do that," MinHyuk said.

"Thanks," Gunwoo said. "I'll talk to you later."

"Good bye," MinHyuk said, and hung up. He sent a text to YoungJae: ~done here~ and then went to sit on the couch. He stared at the TV screen and let his mind go blank.

"You look like you've got a lot on your mind," YoungJae said, sitting next to him. "Everything okay?"

"Not sure," MinHyuk said, his eyes focusing again. SungMin and EunHong sat at his feet, looking up at him. 

"What does that mean?"

"It means that it's my turn to wait," MinHyuk said. "It really freaked him out. I don't know... I mean, I gave him some options, and I don't know what he'll decide." 

"What options?" EunHong asked.

"I would tell anyone who asked that we're just friends. I would tell anyone who asked that we're dating." MinHyuk swallowed. "He suggested breaking up." 

The other three went silent. "You didn't like that," YoungJae said.

"No, not really. But he's thinking about it right now."

"Whatever he decides, you know we have our support," YoungJae said.

"Even if he decides to out me?"

"Even then," SungMin said, and EunHong nodded.

It surprised MinHyuk, how much relief that gave him, and he leaned onto YoungJae. YoungJae lay his arm around MinHyuk's shoulders and held him close. 

They sat there for a while - not too long - but until MinHyuk thought he wouldn't collapse. "I hate to break this up," he said slowly. "But we have a serious rehearsal in the morning."

EunHong groaned. "You had to remind us," she said.

"Just don't work us to death," SungMin said, and pulled himself to his feet. 

"Why would I do that?" MinHyuk asked as YoungJae drew back, letting him go. 

"To keep your mind off it," EunHong said, getting to her feet. 

MinHyuk smiled. "I'll keep your thoughts in mind," he said. 

"Our wants," YoungJae said, getting to his feet and offering his hand to MinHyuk.

"I promise you'll be alive by the end of the day," MinHyuk said, and took YoungJae's hand. 

"That's not promising," EunHong said, and kissed SungMin. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Sleep well," SungMin said, and followed her to the door.

"Are you going to be okay?" YoungJae asked once the two had left the room.

MinHyuk shrugged. "I'll survive," he said. "There's not much else I can do."

"I hope he gives you an answer soon," YoungJae said.

MinHyuk smiled. "Thank you," he said, and led the way into the bedroom. 

It didn't take SungMin long to join them, and before long, they'd all fallen asleep.

 

MinHyuk's phone rang, notifying him of a text, but he didn't stop the practice to answer it. He wondered, shortly, if he'd just damned himself because he didn't, but he just....

The song ended, and YoungJae collapsed dramatically to the floor. "Enough," he gasped. "Even for a minute. Please."

"Seconded," SungMin said, leaning against the wall to keep on his feet.

"Done," MinHyuk said. "Take fifteen." He walked over to his back, scooped up his phone and water bottle, and left the room.

Holed up in one of the smaller conference rooms, he checked the text. ~Let me know when you can talk.~ From Gunwoo.

Taking a deep breath, MinHyuk texted back. ~I have time now, sorry about the wait.~

His phone rang before he had a chance to even set it down, and he answered it. "Hey," he said.

"I expected the wait," Gunwoo said. "Don't worry about it."

"Thanks," MinHyuk said. "How can I help?"

Gunwoo said nothing for a long time. "I'd... like to meet, and talk this over. Do you have time tonight?"

MinHyuk bit his lip. "I... can arrange it, I think," he said. "How are things going on your end?"

"So far, not much is going on," Gunwoo said. "But it looks like it might get worse. I think I can get out tonight, but I don't think it'll work any later."

"I'll get the others out, and we can hole up in the dorm. It won't be great, but it'll be better than anything else. It'll be late, too," MinHyuk said. "Unless...." He hesitated a moment, then let out his breath in a sigh. "Let me get back to you. It'll be soon." 

"Thanks," Gunwoo said. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome," MinHyuk said, but didn't hang up until Gunwoo did. Then he got up, swallowed most of his water, and went back to the practice room.

YoungJae looked up from his phone, and set it down. "What happened?"

"He wants to meet tonight," he said, and SungMin and EunHong turned and looked at them. "Do you think I can head home around nine?"

The three of them exchanged a look, then SungMin nodded. "Yeah. Call and let us know when you're ready for us to come home."

MinHyuk sighed and nodded. "Thanks," he said, and they retreated when he pulled out his phone. ~Can you be at my dorm a little after 9?~

~I'll be there at 9:30. Thanks.~

~Thank you. See you then.~

He put his phone on his bag again, and turned to look at the others. YoungJae sat with his phone, texting someone - probably JungMin - with a half-smile on his face. SungMin and EunHong stood against the mirrors, talking quiet to each other, eyes carefully not in his direction.

"Okay," he said, as soon as the 15 minutes had ended. "Let's go."

They worked hard for the rest of the afternoon. MinHyuk noticed that they didn't try to get out of the practice like they usually did. He just kept working, doing as much as he could until they stopped for dinner, and then getting them working as well.

"It's not like you really have to worry about it," YoungJae said, stretching his legs out as they rested and ate for a while. He looked tired, and like he'd like to stop. "You're a dancer."

"True," SungMin said, looking much less sore. But then, both he and EunHong were dancers as well, and MinHyuk could see that they felt more energized that YoungJae did.

"But then, I am taking things off early," MinHyuk pointed out. "So I'm going to get some practice in. As much as I can."

"We know you know this," EunHong said. "You might take it a little easier on YoungJae, though. He's not a dancer like the rest of us."

"I'll be fine," YoungJae protested. "In a bit," he added when he tried to get to his feet and he nearly fell down.

SungMin caught him and sat him back down. "You need a chance to rest a bit. Relax."

MinHyuk took a deep breath. "Okay, I take your point," he said. "I'm sorry. It's really nerve-wracking."

"I know," YoungJae said. "It's okay. Just... a little less stressed." 

"Less intensity," MinHyuk said. "I can definitely do that."

"Thanks," YoungJae said. He leaned against MinHyuk. "It'll be okay."

It comforted MinHyuk, and he remembered to keep his promise. He kept the intensity down, watching to make sure that he didn't overwork any of them, and then slipped out at nine to go and meet Gunwoo.

 

MinHyuk had cleaned up some and set water on for tea, done everything thing he could, and now paced in an attempt to curb his anxiety. It didn't help, but he tried anyway, and kept from looking at his watch with some effort. Finally, the doorbell rang, and MinHyuk buzzed Gunwoo up. Minutes later, he opened the door to let him in.

Gunwoo hugged him, which made MinHyuk's heart lift a little, and then followed him into the apartment. "I have water for tea, if you'd like some," MinHyuk said.

"I'd like that," Gunwoo said.

MinHyuk ushered him to a seat, and went to fix the tea. He returned, and sat down next to Gunwoo, handing him his mug. "I didn't realize how little you have here," Gunwoo said after his first sip. "I take it EunHong doesn't live here, too?"

"No, she's upstairs with the female trainees," MinHyuk said. "She comes down here for breakfast though. It just works better with everyone's schedule. Easier on transportation."

"Yeah, I imagine it is," Gunwoo said. He set his mug down on the coffee table and turned to face MinHyuk. "You told me there were two options," he said.

"Yes," MinHyuk said, and set his own mug down. 

"The problem is that I already have a hard time getting around, ever since the picture came out." Gunwoo sighed. "I'm not... it's not something I ever wanted, not like you did."

"No, and I'm sorry. I thought we were being careful enough."

Gunwoo smiled and patted his arm, leaving his hand on MinHyuk's wrist. "I know," he said. "I think that it'll just get worse, and harder to hide."

MinHyuk tried to swallow in a mouth suddenly gone dry with dread. He didn't want Gunwoo to keep going. "Probably," he managed to get out, because he didn't want him to think he was left alone. "It seems to be heading that way." 

Gunwoo took a deep breath. "I propose that we pretend to break it off," he said.

MinHyuk stared at him. "Pretend?" 

"Pretend," Gunwoo said. "I don't really want to stop dating you. But for a while, we'll have to stop seeing each other." 

Even though he thought he'd gotten prepared for it, the words made him forget to breathe. "How..." He had to stop and swallow before he could try again. "How long?"

Gunwoo shook his head. "I don't know for sure," he said. "We can't guess how long this is going to go on." 

"Understatement," MinHyuk said. "I know it's rough. Can we at least call? Talk on the phone?"

Gunwoo relaxed a little. "I hope so," he said. "I don't want to break it off completely."

"Well," MinHyuk said, and took a deep breath. He had something. "I would like to take a little bit of time if I can - may - and spend some time just... kissing you, since we can't... won't be seeing each other very much. Do you mind?"

Gunwoo smiled, and MinHyuk wondered if he imagined the way it looked like Gunwoo might burst into tears. "More than not mind, I wish you would."

MinHyuk didn't wait for a second, leaning in to kiss him.

 

"Is everything okay?" SungMin asked as he and YoungJae kicked off their shoes and ventured further into the apartment.

"More or less," MinHyuk said, watching them walk over to sit on either side of him. "It's going to be rough for a while. I probably won't get to see him until Lucid is over."

Both of them leaned on him. "Are you sure?" YoungJae asked.

"He is," MinHyuk said.

"You look like you had a nice evening after the discussion," SungMin said.

MinHyuk looked at him. "What?"

YoungJae looked at SungMin, then at MinHyuk, and he smiled. "He's right," he said. "You do look like you had a good evening."

"What do you mean?" MinHyuk asked.

"You look like you've been kissed to within an inch of your life," SungMin said, and got to his feet. "Which I get, really. You won't see him for a while. But you shouldn't deny it."

"Okay," MinHyuk said. feeling his cheeks go red. "I won't deny it."

YoungJae and SungMin exchanged a look, and then stood. "Then we'll leave you to enjoy the rest of the evening," YoungJae said, and the two patted his shoulders and left. SungMin already had his phone out, probably texting EunHong to let her know what had happened.

MinHyuk thanked whoever might be listening that he'd gotten those two - those three, he couldn't leave EunHong out - in the dice roll that was the Korea Pop industry for his group mates.


	4. Epilogue

The wedding went off without a hitch, and YoungJae watched SungMin and EunHong walk down the steps from the chapel, hands clasped, EunHong's skirt sweeping the flower petals and rice from the steps as she went. He leaned against JungMin, sharing a smile with him. "How long, do you think, before we could do something like this?" JungMin asked.

"I don't know," YoungJae said softly, looking across the steps to where MinHyuk stood with Gunwoo, hands intertwined. "They won't wait, though." He nodded at them.

"No," JungMin agreed. "I don't think so, either. But you sound a lot more sure."

YoungJae grinned at him as the crowd waved at the two in the car, driving off. "They've got tickets to LA. They leave in three weeks."

"So late?" 

"EunHong made MinHyuk promise to wait until she and SungMin could meet the two of them."

JungMin looked at him. "You're not going?"

YoungJae shook his head. "I can't make it. Something about seeing my boyfriend live in the biggest concert of his life. EunHong promised to take pictures and send them to me."

JungMin looked at him. "Are you sure about that?"

"I wouldn't miss it," YoungJae said, and kissed him. "They understand. Better than anyone else could, possibly." 

JungMin squeezed his hand. "Thank you," he said.

"What are you two talking about?" MinHyuk asked as he and Gunwoo walked across the now-empty stairs. 

"Your plans for running away to LA to get married," YoungJae said.

"And YoungJae's plans not to come?" MinHyuk asked.

"Yeah. You're okay with that?" JungMin asked, looking at both of them.

Gunwoo smiled at him. "I think it's great," he said quietly. "If he can support you, he needs to do it."

MinHyuk squeezed his shoulders. "So, the bride and groom are off. How much time do you have, JungMin?"

"I'm free for the day," JungMin said, smiling. 

"Excellent. Come join us for drinks and help us celebrate our impending union, since you won't be able to make it. It's early, but if you've got the time?" MinHyuk looked hopeful.

JungMin grinned. "Yes," he said. "That sounds like a great idea."

"Excellent." MinHyuk patted YoungJae on the shoulder. "I know a very discrete place, where we can guarantee absolutely no fans."

"Your apartment?" YoungJae asked.

"None safer," MinHyuk said, and grinned. "Come on. We'll drive you."

YoungJae grinned and followed the two to the car. "Maybe not that long," JungMin whispered in his ear. "Maybe not that long at all."


End file.
